Daily Self-Care

Think back to a time when you experienced a sudden scare:  a fender bender, a bike wreck, a confrontation with an angry stranger, or other startling or scary event. Most likely, your adrenaline spiked, and for a short period of time you were in a heightened state of fear and stress.  Afterward, over the course of a few minutes or hours, your body and emotions gradually calmed down and you were able to mentally process what had happened to you.   Our bodies are able to deal with high stress for limited durations of time.  However, we are not designed to live for weeks, months or years in a high-stress state.  

When you or a loved one is arrested for a serious crime, the legal process can last months or even years.  This doesn’t result in a moment or two of heightened stress followed by a period of natural decompression.  Usually, the heightened state of stress is ongoing and chronic, and can last much longer than the legal process itself.   This can lead to serious emotional and physical health consequences. 

Here are some eye-opening stats: 

• *63% of women reported that their physical health had been significantly or extremely affected by a loved one’s incarceration.

• *86% reported that their mental health had been significantly or extremely affected.

• *Having a family member who has been incarcerated has been shown to increase the risk of numerous health outcomes including depression, hypertension, obesity, and diabetes.
  

  *Source: FWD.US

Therefore, it’s important that you build daily self-care into your routine.  If you’re like many Americans, scheduling regular self-care may not be something you’ve ever thought about.  Most of us are focused on career or taking care of everyone else around us, or both, so it’s easy to overlook blocking out time to care for ourselves.  However, when you’re supporting a close loved one through a lengthy involvement with the criminal justice system, carving out time each day to take care of you is no longer optional.  

Put on your own oxygen mask first

There’s a reason that in an airline emergency you’re instructed to put your own oxygen mask on first, and then help others with their masks.   When facing a legal emergency, self-care means putting your oxygen mask on first, so you’ll have the strength to help others.  There’s nothing selfish about it.

Think about it: you’re investing a tremendous amount of time and energy into supporting your loved one.  If you don’t take time out to care for yourself, you risk serious emotional and health consequences, which means your ability to support them is diminished.  If you crash and burn, you’re not doing yourself or your loved one any favors.  

Let’s take a look at a few self-care examples to get you started.

Schedule it

Start by scheduling an activity every single day that brings you relaxation, peace and happiness.  Whatever you choose to do, that activity is now the most important part of your day.  But you’ve got to schedule it, otherwise all the “stuff” you’re dealing with each day will crowd it out and it won’t get done.  

When I first tried to implement regular, daily self-care, I failed a lot because I didn’t put it in my schedule.  When the time came for that peaceful walk, or Netflix binge session, some other “urgent” stuff kept it from happening.  

Get a day planner or schedule a google calendar appointment.  Set an alarm on your phone, whatever it takes.  Make it a priority.  That time for yourself is now sacrosanct.  Come hell or high water, it gets done.  Period.  

Examples of Self Care

• Watching an uplifting movie (remember, nothing stressful! Only uplifting things coming your way).

• Reading an uplifting book.

• Playing video games (I started playing Pokémon Go and combined a nice walk outside with a fun, silly, distracting game).

• Taking a drive in the country.  I like to listen to podcasts or music on my drives.

• Education around a peaceful or uplifting topic (cooking, learning a musical instrument, taking a beginner’s painting class, etc.)

• Listening to music or a positive podcast.

• Visit a petting zoo, dog park or pet store where you can interact with animals.

• Going fishing.

• Playing a round of golf or visiting the driving range.

• Working out.

• Taking a yoga class.

• An hour at the SPA.

• Taking a hike.

• A weekly counseling session.

What self-care activities do you enjoy and find helpful?  Comment below!  We’d love to hear what works for you.