Death Threats

You’ve just had yet another ‘worst day ever’.  Your loved one is spending the night in jail.  You’re trying to find some normalcy in this storm that’s raging around you.  You log onto Facebook like you’ve done a million times before.  You have no idea what’s waiting for you there – and how that platform is going to change for you forever. 

Scrolling through your friend’s pictures of their food, babies and pets your thumb freezes as the image of your loved one in an orange jumpsuit scrolls into view – his mug shot – Your loved one has a mug shot!! 

It’s a post from a local news with the most salacious headline they could create.  “Local Man Arrested for…”  You drop your phone, hands shaking.  The tears well up – again.  This can’t be happening.

You pick up your phone and try to steel yourself for what you have to read.  The social media post leads to their ‘Top Story’ on their website – It’s a video – a recording from today’s 6 o’clock news!  OH NO.  Not the news!  The video doesn’t have a lot of details, just the cold headlines, and the charge that sounds so terrible when plastered on social media.  When the anchor finishes reading the story, he looks at his co-anchor and they both shake their heads at the horrible monster they just reported on and promise to follow this story. 

Back to the Facebook post.  You see that it’s already been shared 7 times.  No doubt all the local community pages are buzzing with the news, and the terrible picture of your loved one.  The comments are rolling in as you stare at the screen.  You can’t stop yourself—you click on the comments and hope to find a shred of humanity there.  

Maybe your friends who know him will stand up for him?

No such luck.  You don’t see anything from your friends.  Only short comments from strangers.

You see the 3 dots bouncing at the bottom of the screen, someone else is typing the next horrible comment.  

How can you stop this?!?  You report the post to Facebook for inciting violence.  Maybe they’ll at least have to delete it.  But by now the damage has been done.  You just want to turn off the lights and close the world out.  How can those people say those things about your child when they don’t even know him?  The official charges really don’t describe what happened at all. You haven’t been able to really talk to your loved one yet, but surely there’s an explanation.  Don’t these people realize that?!

The truth is, they don’t realize it.  And they don’t care.

So, what are you to do with this?  Can you fix this problem?  Your emotional bandwidth is stretched so thin you can barely keep yourself upright, let alone try to fix societal problems of this magnitude.

You can’t make the social media storm go away, but there are 2 things you can do to protect yourself until it blows over.  

1. Gain Perspective

2. Create Distance
   

Let’s start with perspective.  What in the world causes this snowball effect of hateful, uninformed comments?

It’s called Willful Ignorance

In today’s society it’s often easier and more desirable to react quickly to news headlines rather than investigating the facts behind them.  Jumping on the bandwagon and adding a strongly worded comment – or a threat - to a growing string makes people feel included and ‘part of something’.  In fact, you may have noticed that on these comment strings it almost becomes a competition to see who can post the most creative death threats.  

The good news is that it’s highly unlikely the mob will go any further than making ill-informed comments.  They’ve done everything they’re willing to do for this situation.  Their “rage” is as shallow as it is uninformed, and within a few days most of them will simply forget about it as they move on to the next media “drama.”  For now just know this…

These social media commentators are not your people.  They are toxic for you right now.  They don’t know you or your loved one, and don’t deserve to.  You need to realize that they don’t get to affect you, your loved one, or anyone in your family.  Anyone willing to participate in willful ignorance must immediately be banished in your mind to the sidelines where they belong.  Unfortunately, those sidelines have a very loud megaphone called social media. 

Which brings us to our second method of protection – creating distance. 

You aren’t going to change anyone’s mind in this comment string.  You aren’t going to change the momentum of the mob either.  So right now – immediately – you must build a solid protective wall around yourself. 

Commit to completely unplugging from social media until the news blows over, which will most likely happen quickly.  Turn to your inner circle of trusted friends and loved ones and spend as much time there as you possibly can.  Replace any toxic situation with the most uplifting situation you can.  

You’ll get through this with perspective and distance.  Your inner circle is there for you.  I’ll be honored to be a part of your inner circle. 

Reach Out Today.